Just Try not to Worry...

you know...today I've been thinking a lot about death. Not death on my end, but death in general. How we are all going to die someday and how no one truly knows what happens when our bodies stop working and decaying. what happens to our soul? Are we released into the world with no boundries and the possibility to start anew as a new person with no recollection of our past? Or maybe we ascend into heaven and live out our souls' content..? I just can't get over the thought of resting for the rest of our lives in eternal darkness, almost like sleeping. Time is so lost when we sleep. We could have no dream for what seems like 2 minutes and in fact it had been six or more hours...

It hurts us so bad to see our loved ones pass away...to see that tiny light flicker out in their eyes and to witness their last breath.

Why do we have to die...I don't want to miss anything...I dont' ever want to grow old and die....growing old scares me so much.

Time is our enemy, yet our alli...

Sunny Days

We all go through rough times and we all go through peaceful times. The past few days for me have been pretty peaceful, nice and welcoming. I've been in a good mood, seen my mom a couple of times and hung out with Tell for most of my free time. The radio stations' been great about playing all my favorite songs which makes me jam out or sing out happily.

Living with Roxi is alright, we hardly see each other but its okay. I guess the less you see of someone makes it harder to conflict with them. When she's at work i'm usually sleeping, and when she gets home I'm usually at work, then when I get home she's sleeping..haha. oh well. We're kosher and we're sharing things equally around the apartment. Its a little hard to let go of a possesive nature when I see her wearing some of my things or using some of my things but I just remember that I do the same with her stuff. What's hers is mine, and what's mine is hers. I wonder if this is a wise decision. Hmm. We all need boundries somewhere. But we both have to bend both ways.

I've been dating a young man named Tell and things are going great. I like that we're from two totally different worlds...and by that I mean we grew up with two separate life styles. And I'm intrigued by his as well as he by mine. We're cute together I've been told and I like it that way! I just hope that things go well with this relationship. I'll go more into detail in a different blog about this.

Make your Word your Life

These last few days have been rough, I abandoned my cat the other night because my parents suggested and made it clear to me that, that was what needed to be done. So I did...crushed and broken my roomate jumped my butt about it making it worse...then even better she trashed the apartment with her guests, (adopted sister, Maryann's Boyfriend, Roxie and her boyfriend). Then the next morning the weather instantly gets colder and rainier...and the lingering thoughts about your baby being left out in the field alone and abandoned...cold wet and scared.....just sticks to your mind like super glue.....you reach out to people for comfort and acceptance for your actions and no one....absolutely no one answers your call. Baffles you that these people have sworn to their word that they will be there when you need them, that they're only a phone call away....and once that day comes...the ignore option on their phone is used because they're busy with something else...Ouch. Isn't it ironic when people swear to their word....they hardly ever if at all....do as they swore? It hurts....why can't people just do as they say and not be such dishonest fools.........

(this only applies to those of you who know you're guilty of this)